


Jungkook's Summer Shenanigans (With 1 human and 5 other Not-Quite Humans)

by The_Indian_Ghost



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Antlers, Crack, Established Relationship, Forest Gods, Hallucinations, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Puns!, Well-behaved deer, dish soap, kpop cameos, one (1) rat that i love dearly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-01-25 18:31:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21360769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Indian_Ghost/pseuds/The_Indian_Ghost
Summary: Jungkook spends the first 2 months alone at his new house in the countryside while waiting for his family to wrap things up before moving. It's not long before he discovers that he's not actually alone at all, and that sometimes, hallucinations are not, in fact, hallucinations at all, but are rather just as real as he is.(Jungkook still thinks his new dish soap made him hallucinate the entire encounter. Yugyeom still gets jealous every time he mentions it, and Jimin still laughs at him disbelievingly while simultaneously questioning the number of brain cells Jungkook has. Which, to be quite frank, is not a lot at all.)
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Yugyeom, Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Jeon Jungkook/Kim Yugyeom, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Kim Taehyung | V, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Kim Yugyeom
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Idek what this is I just had the mental image of this while looking out of my kitchen window at night and I was probably high on mint (we had just bought new plants and I was excited to taste the new mint flavours okay don't judge me) when I conceptualised and started to write this so here we go, hope y'all enjoy this crackfic of mine
> 
> {NB: Tags will be added as the story progresses}
> 
> [Can also be found on Wattpad if you prefer that site instead:  
https://www.wattpad.com/story/202365812-jungkook%27s-summer-shenanigans-with-1-human-and-5 ]

# Prologue

Jeon Jungkook was right smack in the middle of washing the sinkful of dirty dishes he'd neglected over the week (mostly the few plates and bowls he'd transferred his takeout in, and glasses for sprite) when he first encountered them.

He had looked up and out of the large kitchen window at the exact moment that allowed him to be the sole witness to a very pale, very tall man running buck naked amongst the trees just behind the treeline in the woods behind his new house.

As he blinked, he realised 3 things: 1) The man had Antlers on his head. Honest-to-god antlers. Pretty long and realistic ones too. 2) The tall man was followed by another very short, very pale man. Also with antlers on his head. And if it were even possible, Jungkook was certain that the second man was even paler than the first. And yes, he too, was buck naked like the first. 3) There was a black panther chasing the two men. A large black panther. Or maybe it was a large wildcat, who knew? Certainly not Jungkook, that's who. But it was definitely a large black cat, and the only name his mind was supplying him with was _black panther_. So he was just going to roll with it.

He blinked again and followed them with his head until the trio was gone from sight. He looked down at the soapy sponge and the plate in his hands, frozen mid-wash.

He looked at the brand new bottle of Sunny Dish Soap, the only brand the local store had in stock this late into the month.

When he first thought of buying it, was unsure about using this brand as literally everyone he knew gave him a bad review and warned him not to use it. But at that point, Jungkook was far too desperate to have a clean plate to eat from that he didn't care for brand names anymore.

Jungkook was starting to think that maybe he should from now on. 

After two (2) whole weeks of living in the house on his own, and never once did he ever have a hallucination. But after just a few minutes of using a new brand of dish soap- that smelled excessively like lemons and cleaning chemicals, he might add- and he was suddenly hallucinating the kind of weird shit he'd only ever seen (or read, more accurately) in crack-fics. 

He slowly put down his plate and sponge and rinsed the soapy bubbles off his hands.

Then, he backed away from the sink, eyeing the soap bottle warily as if it would come to life and bite him or something. He closed the kitchen door and locked it, before calmly locking up the house, closing every single curtain in the house, grabbing his cooling takeout- still in its container- and locking himself in the room he'd chosen for himself. 

_"I should buy some new dish soap first thing tomorrow morning." _

He thought while stuffing his face full of noodles. 


	2. Chapter 1: Sunny Dish Soap makes you hallucinate?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook thinks his dish soap made him hallucinate naked men, Yugyeom gets jealous, and BamBam... well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm back! So sorry for not updating things in a long time, there were a lot of personal issues I experienced and inspiration to write, well, anything, was hard to come by. But luckily, I'm slowly getting back on my feet, so inspiration is starting to flow more and more. Anyways, hope you enjoy this and any and all feedback is more than welcome! Just be gentle on me, I am but a tiny lil bub~

#  Chapter 1: Sunny Dish Soap makes you hallucinate? 

Jeon Jungkook was right smack in the middle of washing the sinkful of dirty dishes he'd neglected over the week (mostly the few plates and bowls he'd transferred his takeout in, and glasses for sprite) when he first encountered them.

He had looked up and out of the large kitchen window at the exact moment that allowed him to be the sole witness (considering the fact that he was living alone for 2 months, it made sense that he'd be the only one to see, well, anything that happened, really) to a very pale, very tall man running buck naked amongst the trees just behind tree line in the woods behind his new house.

As he blinked, he realized 3 things:

  1. The man had Antlers on his head. Honest-to-god antlers. Pretty long and realistic ones too.
  2. The tall man was followed by another very short, very pale man. Also with antlers on his head. And if it were even possible, Jungkook was certain that the second man was even paler than the first. And yes, he too, was buck naked like the first.
  3. There was a black panther chasing the two men. A large black panther. Or maybe it was a large wildcat, who knew? Certainly not Jungkook, that's who. But it was definitely a large black cat, and the only name his mind was supplying him with was a black panther. So he was just gonna roll with it for now.

He blinked again and followed them with his head until the trio was gone from sight. He looked down at the soapy sponge and the plate in his hands, frozen mid-wash. He looked at the brand new bottle of Sunny Dish Soap, the only brand the local store had in stock this late into the month.

Apparently, it was the one brand the store never seemed to sell out of. Ever. In fact, they were so desperate to get rid of their stock that they had a permanent sale on all of the soap in this brand until they ran out, and it was a damn good deal. Ten (10!) bucks for 1 bottle, as opposed to the usual 35 bucks’ minimum going rate for all dish soap. Jungkook- being desperate (and currently broke) enough to not care about brands and just grab the cheapest stuff he could find- had jumped for joy upon seeing the “FOR SALE” sign with the vastly reduced prices underneath.

(The cleaning staff who saw him jump and pump his fists in the air a few times probably thought he was a complete weirdo. He didn't care though, not when he got such a good deal. He probably should’ve cared more, considering his family were moving to the area and this was one of the five (5) grocery stores in town, but he was hungry and hungry!Jungkook tends to be more impulsive than not hungry!Jungkook.)

When he first thought of buying it, was unsure about using this brand as literally everyone he knew gave him a bad review and warned him not to use it. But at that point, Jungkook was far too desperate to have a clean plate to eat from that he didn't care for brand names anymore. Jungkook was starting to think that maybe he should from now on.

After two (2) whole weeks into living in the house on his own, and never once did he ever have a hallucination. But after just a few minutes of using a new brand of dish soap- that smelled excessively like lemons and cleaning chemicals, he might add- and he was suddenly hallucinating the kind of weird shit he'd only ever seen (or read, more accurately) in crack-fics.

_Then again, _ he thought, _what did I even expect after using such a suspicious brand that not a single local ever buys like... ever in their lives?_

He slowly put down his plate and sponge and rinsed the soapy bubbles off his hands. 

Then, he backed away from the sink, eyeing the soap bottle warily as if it would come to life and bite him or something. He closed the kitchen door and locked it, before calmly locking up the house, closing every single curtain in the house, grabbing his cooling takeout- still in its container- and locking himself in the room he'd chosen for himself. 

_I should buy some new dish soap first thing tomorrow morning. _ He thought while stuffing his face full of noodles. 

In between bites, he pulled out his phone and fired off a message:

_** Nineties (7) Bitch(es) ** _

Kookie: Don’t ever buy Sunny Dish Soap, it makes you hallucinate

Gwiyeomie: ??

DoubleB: why did you use proper grammar

DoubleB: it makes me uncomfortable

DoubleB: also really? Do you drink it or snort it or boil it and inhale the vapours?

Gwiyeomie: wtf

Kookie: it was an important point that I needed to get across

Kookie: no you just use it like normal

Kookie: shit I shouldn’t have told u that, now u gonna buy some and use it am I right?

DoubleB: yup

Gwiyeomie: prolly should’ve thought that through

Gwiyeomie: also what kinda hallucinations did u have?

Kookie: I looked up out the kitchen window in the middle of washing a plate and bam! There was a naked guy running in the trees

DoubleB: u sure that wasn’t actually a real person who idk went to skinny dip in the river/get laid in the forest or smtg?

Kookie: he was super pale and super tall

Kookie: there was another naked dude same as him but shorter

Gwiyeomie: not to be that kinda guy but why on earth were u hallucinating of other naked guys that aren’t me? :(

Kookie: …. they had antlers on their heads and were being chased by a black panther

DoubleB: ooh he thirtsy for that D that’s why ;))

DoubleB: *thirsty

Gwiyeomie: ….

DoubleB: wait wtf

Gwiyeomie: Kook, u sure u didn’t eat any of those mushrooms u found yesterday?

Jungkook thought about how excited he was to find the patch of massive mushrooms growing near the decrepit outhouse a short distance away from the house. He had immediately snapped a couple of pics and send it to all the group chats he was part of (which was not a lot considering he only had three (3), one of which was with his family and therefore didn’t count).

Kookie: yea I’m not that stupid now

Kookie: rule #1 abt living alone near the wilderness:

Kookie: Don’t eat wild mushrooms unless you’re 100% certain of which one it is

Kookie: the website stressed this as like the most important rule

Kookie: right next to Don’t wander off on your own if you’re hopeless with directions

DoubleB: is that why u haven’t gone out of sight of ur house yet even tho u basically have a whole ass forest on ur backyard doorstep

Kookie: backyard doorstep??

Kookie: that made no sense but yea

Gwiyeomie: lol

Jungkook put his empty takeout container and chopsticks on the floor by the door so he’d remember to take them out first thing in the morning. After turning his light off, he shucked off his pants and crawled into bed, staring up the ceiling as he thought long and hard about the hallucination. Or, more specifically, about the two guys in his hallucination. There was something familiar about them, for some reason, and Jungkook couldn’t figure out what.

_**Nineties (7) Bitch(es) ** _

Kookie: yo guys

DoubleB: sup

Gwiyeomie: you summoned?

Kookie: I think I’ve seen those guys before

DoubleB: ??

Gwiyeomie: which guys?

Kookie: from my hallucination

Kookie: the ones being chased by the black panther

Kookie: I think I’ve seen them somewhere before but idk where

Gwiyeomie: Kook

Gwiyeomie: I’m not a jealous boyfriend I swear

Gwiyeomie: But u are living alone in a house in the middle of the smallest town I’ve ever heard of (apart from the actual rural areas) and u have a forest in ur backyard and who knows could be living in it

Gwiyeomie: and now u tell me u hallucinated 2 naked men running in the forest and they look familiar to u

Gwiyeomie: and I haven’t seen u in 2 weeks and I’m used to seeing u like everyday

Gwiyeomie: so sorry for being a bit jealous rn

DoubleB: it’s not like I’m sitting next to u or anything…

DoubleB: also not like I’m also ur boyfriend or anything…

Kookie: no it’s not like that Gyeom

Kookie: just their faces look familiar

Kookie: besides u have Bam there to cuddle u until semester is over and u can come stay with us for a while

Gwiyeomie: yea I know

Gwiyeomie: Sorry I just miss u and like idk how to deal with this distance coz it never existed b4

Gwiyeomie: well, it did b4 we met, but we didn’t know each other yet

Gwiyeomie: sorry Bammie

DoubleB: no worries I miss Kook too

DoubleB: not as much as u prolly do but I still miss him

Kookie: I miss u guys too

Gwiyeomie: Look, we finished our presentation today! Now its only the exams left lol

Gwiyeomie: 

Gwiyeomie: don’t worry Kook we’ll be done soon and then we can come see u!

DoubleB: I may not love u like Yugs does but imma still smother u in love when we get there

DoubleB: plus 2 weeks already went by so u just have 1 month 2 weeks left!

Kookie: Thanks Bammie, imma smother u in love back

Kookie: l know u gonna do it anyway but I need to say it

Kookie: Look after Gyeomie for me, don’t let him miss me too much

DoubleB: scouts honour!

Gwiyeomie: …. I’m right here u guys

Gwiyeomie: u don’t need to be this dramatic lol

DoubleB: shush my dear boyf, we r drama queens, let us be dramatic

Kookie: we literally were part of the drama club, remember?

Gwiyeomie: …

Gwiyeomie: remind me again why u did that and roped me into it too?

DoubleB: coz it’s fun

Kookie: yea

Kookie: also I’m sleepy now so

Kookie: goodnight boyfriend and boyfriend’s boyfriend

Gwiyeomie: so dramatic

Gwiyeomie: goodnight boyfriend

DoubleB: goodnight boyfriend’s boyfriend!

Jungkook smiled and turned away from his window, putting on his sleep playlist and shutting his eyes. It was a full moon yesterday, but today it was still bright enough for Jungkook to be able to clearly see his entire backyard as if it were daylight. And if he were facing the window, he would also have been able to the silhouette of a tall figure with antlers standing just outside his window, even through his closed curtains.

But Jungkook slept on, still believing that what he saw was simply a hallucination caused by dish soap, and not a reality he would soon come to find himself living in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Yugbam is cannon (in this fic), Yugkook is also cannon, but Bamkook isn't (yet). Just to clear up any confusion :)
> 
> If anyone can't see the image, here's the link: https://za.pinterest.com/pin/415175659381637008/?lp=true


	3. Chapter 2: It’s a bone! It’s a rock! It’s… a crumpled up key?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook establishes that Park Jimin is a little shit and finds a strange object in his yard that wasn't there before, and soon after something finds him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for such a late update, I had this chapter written out already but- as usual- life got in my way. But oh well, better uploaded late than not at all, right?

# Chapter 2: It’s a bone! It’s a rock! It’s… a crumpled up key?

_Park Jimin is a little shit. _

Jungkook concluded as his phone buzzed incessantly with new messages from the above-mentioned little shit in varying degrees of coherency. 

Jungkook sighed, dropped his head onto the table, and just listened to the buzzing sound until it stopped. He waited some more until he was certain it would not buzz again, before gingerly picking it up and bringing it to his face- which was still pressed against the cool dark wood of the table. 

_** Jiminie Hyung ** _

Kookie: u done now hyung?

Jiminie Hyung: I cannot believe u actually think DISH SOAP of all things made u hallucinate

Jiminie Hyung: DISH SOAP

Jiminie Hyung: OF ALL THINGS

Jiminie Hyung: Kookie you’re hilarious

Jiminie Hyung: u just made my day 

Jiminie Hyung: actually u just made my entire week

Kookie: hyuuung

Jiminie Hyung: Sorry... not

Kookie: u done laughing at me now?

Jiminie Hyung: I was not laughing at u, I was laughing bc u thought that using a new brand of dish soap actually made u hallucinate

Jiminie Hyung: and that u thought that dish soap can make u hallucinate in the first place

Kookie: I didn’t even tell u what brand it was hyung

Kookie: like if u knew what brand it was you’d agree with me 

Jiminie Hyung: Kook plz don’t tell me it’s the brand I think it is

Kookie: listen, in my defence it was late and I had just used up all of the other soap and I was desperate to not eat my noodles straight out of the container like some broke college student

Kookie: I mean I’m moving into a new house for crying out loud! I have actual dishes and an outhouse and even a well to fetch the water for the entire house! I’m in a semi-rural area! The least I can do is eat food out of clean, reusable dishes that I washed myself

Jiminie Hyung: Good point

Jiminie Hyung: Awww our little Jungkookie is growing up! He’s becoming a mature adult now! 

Kookie: hyung plz stop

Jiminie Hyung: So proud of my little boy!

Kookie: hyung I’m not even related to u at all

Kookie: u didn’t even raise me, u just got me into trouble all the time

Jiminie Hyung: detention builds character and makes u more responsible, see, look how responsible you’re being now! 

Kookie: that’s not-

Jiminie Hyung: It’s all coz of the detentions and time outs and groundings u did as a child

Kookie: No it’s coz Jihyun and my Ma decided to bribe me into being good and not listening to everything u said

Jiminie Hyung: …

Kookie: also they told ur aunt abt all the stuff u were doing and roping me into it and then u got grounded and sent to that summer camp place that 1 year and after that u stopped bc ur aunt told u she’d send u there again if u ever got in trouble

Jiminie Hyung: ahaha! Look at the time! I gotta go do some stuff! Hahaha bye now Kook! 

Kookie: checkmate hyung

Kookie: u still need to tell me abt that! Don’t forget! When u get here with the others u better be telling me what exactly happened there to make u behave

Jiminie Hyung: why?

Kookie: so I can pick up some tips lol

Jiminie Hyung: brat

Kookie: u love me

Jiminie Hyung: …. Unfortunately

Kookie: tell Jihyun I already picked my room, it’s the best one in the house and if he wants it he’d better bribe me with something nice enough for me to switch

Jiminie Hyung: ur such a brat to him

Kookie: same goes for u unless u wanna stay in the room with the rotting beams

Kookie: it’s the smallest one btw 

Kookie: perfect for u if u ask me : )

Jiminie Hyung: YAH JEON JUNGKOOK

Jungkook laughed as he locked his phone and turned his attention to his computer. The webpage had finally loaded, and much to his delight, his connection was just enough to allow the webpage to scroll properly but without the ads being able to load fully. (His poor portable wifi modem had such difficulty connecting to the tower in such a remote place like this, Jungkook didn’t even have the heart to yell at it like he usually did.)

He pulled his notebook closer and began to read, occasionally jotting down notes, and before he knew it, hours had passed and his stomach began rumbling. He sighed and exited out of his three-page-deep google search (he had exhausted the first page in the first week after learning his parents wanted to move to the countryside, and the second page during his first week here. He had told no one of this, not even Yugyeom, and he tended to tell him everything. He didn’t want anyone to know exactly how much he was freaking out about living an entirely different lifestyle.)

He stretched, and then stood up to go and search in the mostly-empty kitchen for something to snack on before going out to buy food. As he was passing by the window, something glinted in the sunlight, and the sudden flash of reflected light drew his attention. Jungkook leaned over the sink and intently watched with bated breath, to be rewarded a moment later when the clouds moved on and the sunlight once again reflected off something shiny on the ground near the tree line. 

Now, the thing about Jungkook was that he was a naturally curious person, and while Jimin did do his fair share of getting Jungkook into trouble, Jungkook was more than capable of doing that on his own. He often wandered away, getting distracted by something or the other (usually something shiny) and tended to get lost very easily. That is why he decided to wait until his family had officially moved in before going off to explore anywhere other than the overgrown grassy fields of his back and front yard. 

Now that he was older, he was more aware of his impulses and often tended to get caught in an inner battle of one half of his brain wanting to give in to curiosity and go look at the shiny thing, and the other, more rational part (that sounded suspiciously like Jihyun and his Ma) yelling at him that he should Abort Mission! to avoid getting lost like almost every other time he gave in. A similar battle was waging in his head right now, and he bit his inner cheek in thought.

In the end, however, curiosity won (it almost always did, but he’d never admit that out loud) and Jungkook found himself unlocking the kitchen door and stepping outside with only his socks on his feet. 

_Bad idea, that’s gonna be a pain in the ass to wash, especially now that you’re hand-washing everything_ a small part of his brain whispered in his ear. It was promptly drowned out by the bigger part of his brain that was pre-occupied with curiosity about the shiny thing he was fast approaching. 

He crouched down, and his brain promptly shut up as he tried to comprehend the thing on the floor.

At first, he thought it was a bone fragment, but then,

_Bone fragments cannot be shiny like this, silly._

Then, he thought it was a piece of metal- silver to be precise. But then,

_There’s no way there’d be a random piece of silver just laying out on the ground like this, I don’t think silver even naturally occurs on the surface like this, plus I would’ve noticed it before now._

Then, he thought of jewellery, but then,

_ Maybe it’s a really mangled up piece of a necklace or something? But where would it even come from? This house was empty for so long, and it definitely wasn’t here before._

He picked it up carefully, and it was definitely a very solid piece of… whatever it was. It was too hard for him to squish in his palms, or fingers, or even underfoot. He turned it over and stopped as he found a single, small, green stone hidden beneath the folds of the stuff it was made of. _Emerald,_ his mind supplied. It was surrounded by other, smaller blue and purple stones. _Amethyst,_ and _damn I forgot what the others are called,_ he thought. He turned it this way and that, and he finally managed to make a little sense of it. It did, in fact, appear to be jewellery, with something metallic _(it has to be silver, iron doesn’t look this sparkly)_ that was wrapped and folded around the gemstones, almost as if the metal had melted but only partially, and then had ruined the jewellery, but not fully.

Then, for some bizarre, unknown reason, he thought of a mangled key, the old, fancy ones that belong in fairytales with gemstones embedded in its handle. Jungkook didn’t know where the thought came from, but now it refused to go, and now that he looked at it properly, the thing did, in fact, look a lot like a fancy key that was crumpled up into a mangled mess of metal. 

_It’s as if someone had crumpled up the key in their hand like a wad of paper... if the wad of paper was made of hard metal and probably encrusted with jewels. And in the shape of a key. And if the person’s hand was hot enough to melt the metal just a little bit._

Jungkook gulped and looked up into the forest, instinctively taking a few steps back. 

_I do not ever want to meet whatever is capable of doing this to a big old key,_ he thought,_ if that is what this thing is and what happened to it anyways._

Now, let it be known that Jungkook was not the type of person to scare easily. Still, he really DID NOT want to meet whatever thing had managed to do this to a big, ancient key (and everyone knew that the old stuff was always way more sturdy than the new stuff, being designed for multiple uses and a lifetime of being used, whereas the new stuff was meant to be thrown out so even newer stuff could be bought in replacement-_thanks capitalism_), so he decided to play it safe- just in case.

He figured he’d be safe in the confines of his house, the yard (which was basically a giant, overgrown field of grass which the house sat in the middle of) and the single pathway leading to his nearest neighbour, which also functioned as the only way in or out of his house (and, well, this area in general). So, those were the only places he went to, apart from the various stores in town of course. And he still decided to give the tree line a wide berth, just in case. 

The shiny, mangled key remained on his bedside table, and Jungkook was left wishing for his ratty old shoebox that he collected all of his pretty rocks in. Granted, he wasn’t sure what exactly this was, and yes, a part of him was certain that this was a mangled key, but from a distance it looked a lot like an interesting (very shiny) rock and so it seemed fitting to keep it with the others he’d found. But sadly most of his stuff would only be coming in a month and a half, in the same moving van the rest of his family’s things were gonna be in. 

Prior to them moving Jungkook was actually wanting to move out of his parent’s house completely, but decided to wait until they’d moved out and settled in first. Plus, he didn’t have a place yet, and he still needed a stable job if he wanted to save up enough to be able to put a deposit for one of the apartments he and Yugyeom (and by extension, Bambam) had talked about having. So, he’d just have to wait a little longer. Luckily, he was planning on freelancing and would work from home anyway, so the only thing stopping him from working right now was the slow internet connection and lack of clients. But anyways…

It was now dusk, and Jungkook had a pot of soup happily bubbling away on the stove. His rice cooker had just clicked off (it was automatic) and he was anticipating having his first home-cooked meal since living in the new house. His “happy mood” playlist was playing from his portable Bluetooth speaker, and the smells of rice and vegetable soup (the easiest recipe he’d found so far with the majority of the ingredients he’d already had on hand) filled the living room, where Jungkook was casually dancing as he cleaned up. 

A brand new bottle of another brand of dish soap was currently standing in the place of the Sunny Dish Soap bottle. This new one was green instead of yellow, and while it did still smell of lemons, it was more pleasant and more mild than Sunny was. In fact, the other bottle was stashed so deep in the corner of the cupboard beneath the sink, that it was barely even visible when the doors were opened. Jungkook was happy about that. 

He would be even happier to forget the hallucination entirely, or that he’d even hallucinated in the first place. Sadly, his mind kept on wandering back to the faces of the two men. (Not that their bodies weren’t impressive or anything, but Yugyeom- and in fact, Jungkook himself- had better bodies than those two. In Jungkook’s humble opinion, of course. Plus, Jungkook was already taken, and he didn’t want Yugyeom to be jealous again, not when he was too far away to give a placating hug and kiss to). 

Thing is, there was just something that was familiar about their faces… if only he could remember where he’d seen them before. On his campus, maybe? He’d read somewhere that every single face you ever saw in a dream was a real face you’d seen somewhere at least once in your life, since the mind didn’t make up faces in dreams. And well, dreams and hallucinations were very similar in Jungkook’s eyes, just that one took place when you were asleep and one took place when you were awake. And that the latter could be induced by using Sunny dish soap. 

But just before he could get lost down that particular rabbit hole of thought, the timer on his phone for his soup rang, interrupting his playlist. He quickly shut it off and dished out a nice, big serving of food for himself and excitedly sat at the table, not even bothering to resume his playlist. 

It was then that he heard it: a soft scraping sound, almost as if someone was dragging something against the wood exterior of the house _(it’s not like the entire house is wooden, it’s not like it could be coming from inside at all, no Jungkook stop that train of thought RIGHT NOW)._ It was repeated once again, before being accompanied by the sound of something gently- most likely mistakenly- knocking on glass. Jungkook glanced at the living room window and saw nothing. The knocking came again, and he stiffened, now knowing exactly where it came from: the kitchen window.

Slowly, he turned around, froze for approximately two seconds, and then screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See if you can guess what happens next [hint in the chapter summary;) ]  
Any feedback is appreciated, even incoherent keyboard smashes (especially those)  
Hope you enjoyed this!


	4. Chapter 3: Intrude(e)r

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook cooks, an intruder enters Jungkook's kitchen (sorta) and then Jungkook has a minor existential crisis for a while, also another brand of dish soap becomes the villain of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we officially get to meet another character even if Jungkook will only be introduced to him as, well, himself, much later on. Any guesses who it is?

# Chapter 3: Intrude(e)r

Slowly, he turned around, froze for approximately two seconds, and then screamed.

There, standing just outside the kitchen window with its face pressed against the glass, was the biggest deer _ (deer, it HAS to be a deer, antelope only live in the wild in Africa, and moose only live in the wild in Canada- you’d be screwed otherwise) _ that Jungkook had ever seen. Not that he’d seen a lot of deer to begin with, but out of all of them, this one was definitely the biggest.

Jungkook was known for not being able to scare easily, but he’s not ashamed to admit that he not only:

a) clutched his chest dramatically as he

b) screamed, and then

c) fell off his chair (he was sitting sideways in it after he turned to look at the kitchen window), and finally

d) crawled backwards to try and put some distance between him and the window, while also

e) dragging his chair down with him as his legs got stuck in them, all while

f) continuing to scream until he ran out of breath

Meanwhile, the deer itself jumped in surprise, not having expected such a response, and being fully able to hear Jungkook’s screams and the crash of the chair through the open kitchen window. It tried to step back- probably to run off back into the woods after the scare it had- but its antlers had unfortunately gotten stuck in the above-mentioned open kitchen window.

It made a braying sound and tried to pull free multiple times, all while the now breathless Jungkook (still clutching his heart) gasped for breath, eyes locked on this massive intruder. The stag was probably tall enough to be just over Jungkook’s height, including the antlers. But it’s head seemed to end just above Jungkook’s breast, and its body was most likely only slightly shorter.

Jungkook calmed down in record time once he realized that it was just a deer. A deer with its antlers stuck inside the kitchen window. A deer that could- and most likely would if it started to panic- break the entire window, and probably damage the window frame too if Jungkook didn’t get off his (sore) ass and help it get free of the window.

So he stood up- rather shakily though he wouldn’t admit it- and hurried to the window, flapping his hands (they were still holding his spoon and chopsticks) around as he tried to figure out how to do help the stag and to calm it down all at once.

“Woah woah easy there, easy! Just stay calm now, I’m going to help you out of there now buddy. Easy, just stay calm okay? Don’t break my window please,” Jungkook said while putting his spoon and chopsticks down and holding his hands out close to the glass, palms facing the stag, in a more serious attempt to calm it down.

Surprisingly, it worked. The stag stopped wriggling its head around and froze, breathing heavily and looking straight at Jungkook, who gulped.

“Okay, uhm… how do I do this?”

He looked up and saw that only one antler was properly stuck inside the window, the other one could be manoeuvred out with ease, and if he managed to to get the stag to lower its head, he could push the other one down and out of the window completely. He looked back at the stag.

“I don’t suppose you’ll be able to, like, follow my instructions while I climb in the sink to push your antlers out, will you?”

It just stared back at him, so he sighed and began to hoist himself up using the stove, before swinging his socked feet into the (thankfully dry) sink. It took a while for him to get his balance and stand up, but luckily the stag hadn’t moved the entire time, being too busy watching him to do anything. _ And also having your antlers stuck in a window also tends to make one unable to move, _ he mused silently as he gripped the edge of the open window to steady himself.

“Okay, here goes… I’m going to push this one antler out, it should be easy enough to remove, just don’t impale me in my face please,” he said to the stag, before grabbing the antler and trying to push it out. The stag shifted its weight and took a step back, successfully dislodging its antler. It let out a braying sound that was way more positive than the one it made one before, or so Jungkook hoped.

“Alright, now for this one…”

He looked at it again, before grabbing hold of it. This one was trickier.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to duck your head down a bit, and I’ll guide your antler down and out of the window, you clearly bent your head looking in and now it’s stuck and you need to bend down again to help get it unstuck.”

Jungkook once again addressed the stag, and the thought of _ am I slowly going crazy living here all alone for more than two weeks without my family or boyfriend that I’m now talking to a DEER that scared the shit out me by having its antlers stuck in my kitchen window which I’m now trying to unstuck? _ flashed through his mind.

But then, the stag actually began to bend its head down, drawing Jungkook’s attention back to the present, and he once again began to push and guide the antler out, only letting go when he was certain that it wouldn’t get caught on anything when the stag dragged its head back upright. Just before he let go, however, a burst of excitement and disbelief flooded his mind.

_ Holy shit I’m holding a massive fucking stag by its antlers holy shit it didn’t impale me holy shit this is actually really smooth and cold like bone- wait it is bone- oh man this is awesome wait ‘till Gyeom and Bam and Jiminie hyung hear of this Jihyun is gonna flip! _

The stag stepped back carefully before standing upright, shaking its head (and antlers) out slightly. It looked up as Jungkook, his hand still outstretched outside the window, and snorted before coming closer and carefully nudging his hand with its antler. Jungkook snapped to attention again and quickly withdrew his hand with a squawk, holding it protectively against his chest with his other hand, just in case it had decided to change its mind and impale his hand after all.

The stag snorted again, before turning around and moving back to the tree line, presumably to go back to wherever it came from before deciding to stick its antlers into Jungkook’s window. Along the way, it detoured to the small berry tree (it was certainly some kind of berry tree- most likely mulberry- but the tree hadn’t flowered yet and Jungkook wasn’t entirely sure just by looking at the leaves alone) and took a few nibbles, before prancing back onto its original path. Jungkook watched it go from the window, and it appeared that the stag knew this, for it turned back and looked at Jungkook, and winked- it _ WINKED _ at him- before turning back and disappearing amongst the trees.

Jungkook still stood frozen by the window, standing in the sink with his socks on, holding his hand in his other hand, wondering how the hell these things were happening to him all of a sudden.

That thought, of course, led to him wondering if this entire encounter was not, in fact, another hallucination, caused by his new dish soap, since he was pretty certain that deer couldn’t wink. That was a human trait, not a deer trait. Unless it had blinked instead, and Jungkook only saw the eye closest to him blink and misinterpreted that as a wink. It was possible, if only for the fact that Jungkook had seen both eyes, and only one had blinked _ (well, winked) _. And since he was certain deer didn’t _ (or couldn’t?) _ wink, that led to his very sound conclusion that he was hallucinating again, only that this was a way more… potent hallucination. He had touched the damn antlers for crying out loud! The silky, smooth and cold feeling still lingered on his hands, even when he rubbed his palm with his other fingers.

Of course, that led to the thought that maybe he had used Sunny again without realizing it, or maybe his new dish soap caused even more potent hallucinations which is why they were on sale too. And then he thought that maybe he should speak to someone about this new dish soap, warn them of it before they wasted their money to buy it.

_ Yeah, good idea. Let’s go do that now. _

He looked around for his phone, spotted it on the table next to his most-likely-cold food, then looked down at his Iron Man socks and realized he was still standing in the sink.

_ Right… need to get out of the sink first. _

But for some reason, his legs wouldn’t move, despite him telling them to bend so he could crouch.

_ Shit. What if this is actually a dream instead of a hallucination? You’re paralyzed in your dream stage of sleep, even if you can move around in the actual dream, so all this could be a dream instead. Which means I’ll probably wake up really soon after realizing it’s a dream, right? I think that’s what happens in dreams, isn’t it? _

That seemed more likely to him, so he waited for a few minutes to see if he would wake up. He didn’t, and the cold metal seeping into his feet through his socks only confirmed that this was real.

_ Shit. This is real. What the actual fuck. _

His phone beeped loudly- the 15% battery warning- and that sound alone was what broke him out of his reverie. The first thing he did was closed the window- tightly. Then, he managed to crouch down this time, and instead of sitting on the stove and lowering his legs like how he did getting up, Jungkook simply turned, sat on the edge of the sink, and swung his legs around until they touched the floor. The wooden floor felt warmer on his feet after the cold metal sink, and Jungkook shivered slightly.

He pulled his chair upright again, and then heavily sat down. His rice was mostly cold and starting to harden, and his soup was lukewarm. Even though he was hungry and had previously been excited to eat, Jungkook knew that his stomach would not be able to tolerate food while he was still in this state of shock. So he sighed and pushed himself up again, taking his bowls so he could dump the contents back into their respective pots (and cooker) to reheat later.

_ Thank goodness I got the cooker with a “reheat” function, I’d have to eat cold rice otherwise. _

Then, he grabbed his phone, and after a second of hesitating, he padded over to his room instead, locking the door behind him. _ Just in case the stag comes back and, I dunno, learns how to open door handles or something, _ he told himself, thinking back to how it obediently moved its head down when he explained to it how he was going to free it.

_ ** Nineties (7) Bitch(es) ** _

Kookie: Don’t use Handy Dandy Dish Soap either

Gwiyeomie: ??

DoubleB: what

Kookie: It’ll make you hallucinate even more

Kookie: Or like, put you to sleep and give you really vivid dreams

Gwiyeomie: u alright there boyf?

DoubleB: what? I thought only Sunny did that??

Gwiyeomie: Why did u capitalize sunny?

DoubleB: it’s a name, u gotta do that for names remember?

Gwiyeomie: … right

Gwiyeomie: what kinda hallucination did u have this time Kook?

Kookie: A deer was stuck in my kitchen window

Gwiyeomie: wtf

DoubleB: wtf

Kookie: only I’m not even sure it was a hallucination

Kookie: like I touched its antlers and everything

Kookie: the only explanation for this is that it’s a hallucination

Kookie: or a dream

Kookie: but I haven’t woken up yet so idk

Gwiyeomie: wait hold up

Gwiyeomie: I’m confusion

DoubleB: I’m confusion

DoubleB: jinx!

Gwiyeomie: …

Gwiyeomie: Kook plz explain everything from the start, I wanna know what happened in full

Jungkook took a deep breath before responding.

Kookie: Right, so…

_ ** Nineties (7) Bitch(es) ** _

Gwiyeomie: okay… so

Gwiyeomie: if I understand correctly

Gwiyeomie: u are saying a male deer got its antlers caught in your open kitchen window

Gwiyeomie: and u screamed and fell to the floor dramatically when u first heard it and saw it by the window

DoubleB: a true drama queen, I’m so proud of u

Gwiyeomie: babe shush I’m tryna unconfusion myself here

DoubleB: : (

Gwiyeomie: and then after that u saw it was stuck and didn’t want it to break ur window

Gwiyeomie: bc u live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and there’s no one to replace it for u until tomorrow afternoon if ur lucky and u didn’t want any (other) animals and bugs getting in

Gwiyeomie: so u decided to climb into ur sink w/socks on and help it get its antlers unstuck

Gwiyeomie: like, u held the antlers in ur bare hand

Gwiyeomie: and it listened to u when u told it to bend down its head to get the antlers unstuck

Gwiyeomie: and as it was leaving, it nudged ur hand w/ the very same antlers u helped it to unstuck from ur window

Gwiyeomie: and then it winked at u before it went into ur forest

Gwiyeomie: anything I missed?

Kookie: not my forest but yea that’s abt right

Gwiyeomie: Kook…

Kookie: now u know why I thought it was a hallucination or dream at first

DoubleB: yea I see ur point now

DoubleB: also u forgot that he bought new dish soap and thinks it could have caused the hallucination like the other one

DoubleB: and he cooked

DoubleB: and his food went cold and he didn’t eat until now

Gwiyeomie: wait what

Gwiyeomie: Kook

Gwiyeomie: u were complaining abt how hungry u were while cutting the veggies for ur soup

Gwiyeomie: why didn’t u eat the soup?

DoubleB: it looked so good too

Kookie: I

Kookie: I was just in shock that’s all

Kookie: my stomach was heavy already, I didn’t wanna risk vomiting all my delicious hard work out

Kookie: plus y’all know I hate vomiting

Kookie: and nausea in general

DoubleB: : (

Gwiyeomie: aww Kookie : (

Gwiyeomie: I wish I was there to cheer u up

DoubleB: me too

Kookie: thanks guys

Kookie: wish u were here too

Kookie: if u were here u guys could have seen it too then I’d know if it was a hallucination or dream or actually real

Gwiyeomie: well, what would u prefer it to be?

Gwiyeomie: if u could change anything abt it of course

Kookie: idk

Kookie: a dream maybe? sounds the easiest to deal with

DoubleB: u right dreams r easier to deal with than the other stuff

Gwiyeomie: then Kook, just think of it as a dream

Kookie: …I’m not getting u

DoubleB: you’ll have to wait until the month and a half is over b4 u can get him, remember?

Gwiyeomie: …

Kookie: not what I meant but thanks for that

Kookie: I get to have him for the whole week when u guys come here

DoubleB: aww : (

DoubleB: fine, I’ll share, u need him more anyways

DoubleB: but u better let me 3rd wheel w/u guys when u go exploring the forest

Kookie: deal, as long as u let me join ur guys cuddle piles now n then

DoubleB: : )

Gwiyeomie: Kook, ur always welcome to join ur cuddle piles

Gwiyeomie: as long as u don’t squish us

Gwiyeomie: Bammie is delicate

DoubleB: hey! am not!

Gwiyeomie: yes u r

Kookie: and tiny too

DoubleB: tiny? haha ha

Gwiyeomie: yea abt that

Kookie: what happened? He got heels now?

DoubleB: yea and they’re so pretty omg I’ll bring them when we come u gotta see them Kook!

Gwiyeomie: well that too, but they really are so pretty n they make his legs look longer and hotter

DoubleB: damn straight they do

Kookie: none of us r straight here Bam

Kookie: specially not u

Gwiyeomie: can confirm

Gwiyeomie: straight guys don’t-

Kookie: okay imma stop u right there

Gwiyeomie: sorry Kook

Kookie: it’s fine, I still don’t get it tho

DoubleB: get what?

Kookie: think of it as a dream?

Gwiyeomie: okay so, if thinking of this… incident as a hallucination makes u feel upset, then don’t think of it as that. That means it’s not a hallucination, okay?

Gwiyeomie: and if u have a hard time believing it’s a real thing that happened to u, that u experienced irl, then don’t think of it as that either

Gwiyeomie: ur most comfortable with dealing with weird dreams, right?

Kookie: yea

Gwiyeomie: good, then just think of it as a weird dream u had when u dosed off in between cleaning

Gwiyeomie: if it’ll help u cope with being there alone and having all these strange things happen to u like this, then all of them are just dreams, okay?

Gwiyeomie: u can stop thinking of them as dreams when we get there, okay? We have 3 months of holiday until semester starts again, remember? We’ll help u through this, Bammie and I

Gwiyeomie: Jimin-hyung and Jihyun-hyung and the rest of ur family too

Kookie: thanks guys

Kookie: I’ll try

DoubleB: u feel better now?

Kookie: yea… u guys always know what 2 say to make me feel better

Gwiyeomie: glad we could help Kook

DoubleB: he’s making heart eyes at his phone rn, just thought I’d tell u that since u can’t see the look he’d be giving u if we were there

Kookie: thanks Bam

Kookie: I love u guys

Gwiyeomie: love u boyf!

DoubleB: love u boyf’s boyf!

Gwiyeomie: also Kook go eat ur food!!!

Gwiyeomie: u don’t have a fridge yet so it will go bad unless u eat it today remember!

Gwiyeomie: and send us a selca of u and ur food plz? (*.*)

Kookie: … oki fine imma go now, I’ll chat to y’all later

_ ** Nineties (7) Bitch(es) ** _

Kookie: here ya go, a selca of a meal and a snacc ;)

Kookie: 

Gwiyeomie: damn right u are

Gwiyeomie: dats my boyf right there!

DoubleB: dats my boyf’s boyf!

Kookie: night guys

Gwiyeomie: night Kook!

DoubleB: gnight Kookie!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In conclusion, Kookie is a soft dramatic boi who is actually secretly freaked out by the idea of staying alone in the wilderness when these kinds of crazy stuff happen to him with no one around to witness it (or to cuddle with him afterwards). He has no issues with staying in the wilderness, or even the wilderness itself (except for a few select bugs and a slithery reptile or two).
> 
> If the image isn't working, here's the link to it: https://weheartit.com/entry/268288319
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this! Let me know what you think about it so far, also who do you suspect is the deer? (hint: it's not a GOT7 member)


	5. Oh rats!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook has an encounter with one (1) rodent that leaves him traumatised and lost in the forest without his sense of direction _or_ his shoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for disappearing off the internet for a while and not updating this, depression managed to sink its clutches into me again. Luckily, I have one (1) entire Therapist™ on my side and so should depression ever do this to me again, I ** WILL ** kick it's ass to Timbaktu and back, mark my words. To make up for this, however, I present to you an extra long chapter! Hope you enjoy :)

#  Chapter 4: Oh rats! 

The next few days were blissfully deer-free, a fact that Jungkook was immensely grateful for. 

He had come prepared to begin the process of fixing all the minor issues so long while he waited for his family to wrap up their affairs. Earlier, he and his dad, Jihyun and Jimin had come down for a weekend to inspect the condition of the house before they’d do anything, just in case they needed to stay put while it was repaired. Luckily, the house was in a relatively good condition despite being abandoned for so long, and there were only minimal repairs needed, with the exception of the plumbing and electrical systems. 

So naturally, Jungkook decided to volunteer his time and energy to do the basic maintenance and repairs over the course of the 2 months, with a professional plumber and electrician coming to reinstall new systems in the middle of the second month. 

He spent his days cleaning: washing the windows, walls and floors. He bought some heavy-duty sandpaper and began sanding down the wooden counters, tables and bed-side tables, before re-staining them and finishing them off with a good coat of waterproof varnish. Each bedroom had at least one bedside table in addition to a simple (but large) wooden chest of drawers, and years of neglect, coupled with the years of abandonment of the entire house, had left them more than a little rough to the touch. And Jungkook certainly DID NOT want to get splinters all over his hands every time he ran his hands across the table, nor did he want his family to get them either. Plus, it kept him busy enough to let him avoid thinking about the weird hallucinations dreams (they are dreams now Jungkook, remember what Gyeom said? Dreams, NOT hallucinations). 

The week was almost over, marking exactly three (3) weeks since he came here. That’s three weeks of Jungkook surviving on his own without a convenience store within walking distance, without any sort of delivery food, and without an indoor toilet or plumbing that was just above the basics. 

_ ** Jiminie Hyung ** _

Kookie: yo hyung guess what? 

Jiminie Hyung: What 

Kookie: I survived three (3) weeks entirely on my own! 

Kookie: No convenience stores 

Kookie: bad plumbing (srsly I had to collect water from the pump to manually fill both the bathtub and the “geyser” 

Kookie: why do we even have an open geyser?? Is that even called a geyser? 

Kookie: pretty sure it ain’t a geyser, but idk enough about plumbing so… 

Jiminie Hyung: … you forgot to close the bracket 

Kookie: hyung srsly?? That’s all u got from this? Not a “hey kook, good job with being a adult and surviving three (3) whole entire weeks on ur own with no adult supervision or convenience stores nearby!” 

Kookie: :( 

Jiminie Hyung: *an adult 

Jiminie Hyung: Good job with surviving three entire weeks on your own without any adult supervision Kookie! I’m so proud of you! 

Kookie: :) 

Kookie: thanx hyungie~ 

Jiminie Hyung: Btw, what exactly do you mean by “open geyser?” 

Kookie: It’s a normal geyser except that it has like a hole on top? And the pipe that I think connects it to the huge ass tank above the pump is missing?? Idk, I know there’s supposed to be a pipe but it’s not there and the hole is biggish but the heating element still sorta works but it takes forever to heat up so I’ve just been filling it up from the hole with buckets of water and an old funnel I found 

Jiminie Hyung: Kook… 

Jiminie Hyung: Your geyser is broken, you need to go buy a new one 

Jiminie Hyung: like how do you not know this Kook this is basic stuff you’ve helped your dad and Jihyun with fixing the geyser in your guys house that one day it burst 

Kookie: … 

Kookie: listen listen 

Kookie: just where am I gonna buy this geyser from? 

Kookie: also u take that geyser away and no more hot water for me 

Kookie: no more hot baths, no more hot water to soak and wash the clothes in so the wood stain I accidentally spilled comes out 

Kookie: no more not water to wash the dishes with so it goes quicker, no more washing the walls with warm water to make the dirt come out quicker 

Kookie: and then I’ll be so sad without my hot bath after a long day of sanding wooden bedside tables and counters 

Kookie: :( 

Jiminie Hyung: did I ever tell you how GODDAMN dramatic you are? 

Jiminie Hyung: like… 

Jiminie Hyung: you are such a drama queen oh my god 

Jiminie Hyung: OH MY GOD 

Jiminie Hyung: why are you like this 

Kookie: ur just as dramatic as me hyung shut up 

Kookie: where do u think I got it from? :) 

Kookie: also gtg hyung I managed to find a corner of the house with the best Wi-Fi reception so now I can attempt to stream stuff 

Kookie: keyword: attempt 

Jiminie Hyung: lmao you’re stuck there without decent Wi-Fi serves u right for using mine to torrent stuff and almost getting me into trouble 

Jiminie Hyung: I’m too young to have a write up for piracy in my spotless legal record 

Kookie: what abt that time u got arrested for being drunk and clinging to a pole while shirtless in the middle of the night belting out Twice at the top of ur voice 

Jiminie Hyung: again, emphasis on the Spotless Legal Record part 

Kookie: …I have a video clip of u doing this 

Jiminie Hyung: aha ha ha oh would you look at the time! I got lots of stuff to do 

Jiminie Hyung: k bye now 

Kookie: checkmate… again :) 

By now, his dodgy bootleg streaming site had already loaded and buffered a good five minutes of the episode already, so Jungkook put his phone aside and lay down on his stomach with his pillow under his chin. He shuffled a bit until he finally felt comfortable... well, as comfortable as one can get with only a thin duvet between yourself and the cold floor underneath the kitchen table, that is. But, despite being underneath the table, the Wi-Fi worked faster here than anywhere else in the house. _ Well, except maybe the roof… I haven’t tried that yet. Maybe I should climb up to the water tank and see if it looks like it’ll work there first, _ he mused. 

He pressed play and was greeted with the opening scene of One Punch Man. A few minutes into the scene, however, he heard an odd scratching noise that should not have been part of the anime. Well, at least he thought so, after all, having a scratching noise while explosions were going off didn’t really seem to go together harmoniously. Jungkook ignored it for a while and it disappeared, but when it returned, being much louder this time, he paused and listened. Immediately, the sound stopped, but shortly after he pressed play, they came back full swing. Jungkook could hear them even over the opening song, which was pretty loud to begin with. So he paused and waited with bated breath for the sound to start again, and when it did, he looked around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. 

_The pantry cupboard,_ he thought. _ It has to be coming from the pantry cupboard, no other cupboard has plastic in it and it sounds a bit like hard plastic scratching against the wooden cupboard. _

How Jungkook knew what this sounded like could be attributed to his and Jimin’s snack-stealing days where they’d hide in the biggest cupboard they could both fit into (usually one of the ones in Jimin’s aunt’s house) with packets of snacks that they’d stolen from Jimin’s aunt or Jungkook’s mother’s cupboard when they weren’t looking and then proceeded to gorge themselves on the snacks as quietly as they could. Jungkook vividly remembers all of the times they’d got busted because Jihyun would come looking for them and find them solely based on either the loudness of them munching on the crunchier snacks or the sound of the hard edges of the seaweed snack packets scraping against the wooden insides of the cupboards. Jungkook remembers never figuring out how Jihyun had always caught them even after he and Jimin learned how to eat the crunchier snacks silently (let the cookies melt in your mouth a little before chewing slowly), and it was only after they’d outgrown that phase did he tell them about the seaweed packet thing. 

The noise stopped suddenly, and Jungkook froze, before swivelling his head to the side and staring intently at the pantry cupboard. Sure enough, the door was ever-so-slightly ajar, and the scratching resumed, confirming that it was indeed coming from this cupboard. 

Jungkook’s mind raced with all sorts of thoughts as to what could be causing the scratching. 

_ Could it be a cat? No wait, it can’t fit in that gap. Maybe a kitten? I don’t think it would fit either, unless it was a newborn, but they can’t even see when they’re born, let alone scratch like that… Oh shit! What if it’s a raccoon? Do we even have raccoons in this country? I think they only live in America, so maybe it’s a squirrel? Oh shit my walnuts are in there! The squirrel’s gonna eat my walnuts! _

He sat up quickly while still trying not to make any noise (to avoid scaring off the squirrel) but failed miserably when he banged his head on the table, completely forgetting it was there for a few seconds. He hissed in pain and promptly sank down on his butt, clutching his head and trying to make the pain less by rubbing the sore area really fast. Of course, it didn’t work as well with his hair in the way compared to whenever he did that after hurting his elbow, but Jungkook liked to think that it worked. Just a little bit. 

_ Maybe I should crawl out from under the table first before doing anything. _

He looked at his open laptop next to him on the floor. 

_ Maybe I should close my laptop first in case the squirrel panics and runs across my keyboard or something. _

So Jungkook closed his laptop and crawled out from under the table like some sort of gremlin, and got onto his feet with only some slight twinging from his knees that were not concerning at all for someone as young as him, _nope absolutely nothing to be concerned of, knees twinge like that all the time for young, healthy lads like myself, just chill and don’t overthink it Jungkook, focus on the squirrel instead. _

And so, after a short moment of panicking where he frantically looked around for some sort of weapon and eventually settled on a plastic spatula he’d washed in preparation for making the dough for his dumpling soup, Jungkook was finally ready to hunt down and chase out the squirrel from his cupboard. 

He cautiously tiptoed towards the cupboard and tried to peek in from the slightly-ajar door, and when that failed, he gingerly used his spatula to ease open the door while standing well to the side of it so that he would not get a scared squirrel barreling into his face if it decided to bolt the moment he opened the door. 

He opened the door. Nothing happened, save for the sounds of the packets crinkling as if the squirrel had darted behind them for cover. 

Jungkook cautiously peeked his head over the open door to look into the cupboard, and was promptly greeted by a small furry body slamming straight into his face as it scrambled to make its escape. Jungkook fell flat on his butt with a shriek and jerked away from the shockingly large brown rodent that erupted from the cupboard and was expertly dodging the chair legs. 

He only had time to register that it was not, in fact, a squirrel at all but instead an incredibly large rat that he almost mistook for a kitten due to its sheer size; and that he had, in fact, been slammed in the face (as he feared) by this giant rodent; before he shrieked again as it scampered straight towards him. 

Jungkook dove forwards underneath the table and rolled so he was on his knees, spatula gripped tightly in his hand as he readied to bat away the rat that had changed directions _again_ and was still heading straight for him. However, he panicked at the last minute upon realizing just how big the damn rat was and yanked his pillow in front of him as a feeble sort of shield, hoping that if it decided to attack him it would at least be stopped, or even just slowed down by the pillow stuffing (Jungkook would take either option right now, he just wanted to get the fuck away from this colossal rat without being head-butted by it again, or worse, being bitten by it). 

However, the rat _(thankfully)_ turned at the last moment and headed straight for his laptop and phone, allowing Jungkook approximately 0.01 seconds of pure relief before unlocking a new level of horror as the massive rodent’s back foot somehow got caught within his tangled earphone cables. 

Did this stop the rat? No. Instead, it _kept on running,_ only this time while dragging Jungkook’s earphones-_ with his phone still attached-_ across the kitchen floor. 

Jungkook yelled and dove forward, his fingertips just missing his phone by a few millimetres. He yelled again, yanked himself up from the floor and dove back down in another attempt to get his phone back. Again, he missed. 

By this time, the rat had caught onto the fact that it had a whole ass human hot on its tail and ready to catch it, and so it naturally began to panic and speed up, which did not bode well for Jungkook _at all._ The rat finally made it’s way out of the kitchen and darted into the living room, leaving behind a dazed Jungkook who had just slammed head-first into the kitchen doorway in an attempt to get there first so he could somehow block off the exit to trap the rat in the kitchen and thus have a higher chance of recovering his phone. 

Despite his suspicions that he may have concussed himself, Jungkook picked himself up from the floor again and sprinted across his mostly-empty living room and dived towards his phone with the loudest battle cry he could muster. This time, he was successful at managing to throw his palm against his phone, but just as his fingers curled around it to get a better grip so he could pull it towards himself, he felt it being yanked out of his hand as the scared rat spotted the slightly ajar front door and took off towards it. 

However, it seemed like luck had finally left the rat’s side and switched to Jungkook’s side since- during his very brief contact with his phone, he had somehow managed to grip it tight enough for the earphone jack to become loose, and so- when the rat darted into the gap underneath one of the side tables he’d left out to dry, his phone got caught in it and clattered to the ground as his earphones finally detached. Jungkook almost wept in relief for almost all of the two (2) seconds it took him to realize that the rat still had his earphone cables attached to his leg. Jungkook’s last vision of them was seeing them rapidly disappear along with the end of the rat’s tail in the small gap made by the partially opened front door. 

Naturally, this meant that Jungkook’s wild chase for the trouble-causing rodent was not yet over and he somehow managed to vault over the side table and sprint out of his house as fast as he could to follow the rat, who was now no longer weighed down by his phone and thus began to move _even faster than before. _

Jungkook chased it all the way around his house and straight into the forest, completely forgetting not only his newfound fear of what could be lurking in the above-mentioned forest, but also his shoes. He did, however, have the presence of mind to shove his phone in his pocket as he dodged a fallen branch, and then vaulted over a small bush and dove forwards again, failing yet another time to catch the damn rat or even to grab ahold of the cables. 

Not wanting to be bested by a _ rat,_ of all the possible rodents to be bested by, he haphazardly crawled forwards and threw himself into a run, following the rat further and further into the forest until it burst into a large clearing containing a short wooden platform that both had no place being here in the forest, and was also large enough to host a picnic with all the members of Yugyeom’s friend group _and_ Jungkook’s entire immediate family on. 

But although Jungkook took in all these details in his periphery, he was more focused on the rat, or to be more specific, on the large hole in the bottom of the platform created by a broken piece of wood. In that split second, Jungkook knew that if he let the rat escape into the hole, he’d never, ever get his headphones back. And so with that thought in mind, he dived forward one last time, and Lady Luck seemed to take pity on him for the second time today because this time, he was victorious in grabbing ahold of his cable. 

He quickly grabbed on with both hands and locked his muscles in place, causing the rat to stumble and abruptly be pulled backwards by the force of the resistance caused by one (1) Jeon Jungkook hanging onto the cable for dear life. In a flash, Jungkook pulled himself up onto his elbows and- while the rat was still dazed from encountering the unexpected resistance- he reached out and grabbed the source of the cable entanglement, quickly slipping the knot off it’s leg and pulling the cable protectively towards his body. 

The rat disappeared into the hole in the next second, and Jungkook was left listening to the sound of his loud heartbeat and his soft panting. 

He lay there in shock for a while, getting his breathing back to normal before slowly sitting up, earphones still clutched close to his chest. He felt in his pocket for his phone, and breathed a sigh of relief that it was still there. He quickly did an overview of his earphones, finding them a bit dirty (they _were_ white after all, and they _did_ just get dragged through a forest floor) and after plugging them in and checking the sound, he was pleased to discover that both sides were still functional, as was his phone, albeit with a few new dents and scratches on the back cover, none of which were very serious. 

Jungkook took care in winding his earphones around his phone and carefully put it back in his pocket. It was then that he registered the sudden stillness that can only come from being in a forest, and it was only then- as he looked around himself, stood up, and looked around some more- that he realized that he was stuck somewhere in the forest with no shoes and no way to get back to his house. 

_Well fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be called "Jungkook's Summer Shennanigans" but I love all my characters especially this rat in particular lmao it's honestly the star of this chapter and mayhaps would even be the star of this story if it weren't for my eternal love for Joonie and Kookie lol

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? I'm excited for this fic, it was supposed to be my special Halloween fic but I got delayed what with all that's going on with Monsta x... (T.T)  
Anyways, I'm now not as distraught as I was on actual Halloween so here ya go, a belated Halloween fic for you~


End file.
